Addictions and Awareness

Posted on April 28, 2008
Filed Under Addiction, Awareness |

As you may or may not know, I was an alcoholic up until 10 years ago. Recently someone asked me what it was that finally made me give up drinking.

While one might think that this is more a “Duh” moment than an “Ah ha” moment, it was when I realized that alcohol was no longer adding to the quality of my life. Something that had started as an enjoyable experience ended up years later destroying all that I held near and dear.

One would think in a life of progressively more hideous hangovers, estranged friends, and job “lay offs,” it would occur to me that I just might have problem. It would be common sense, right? As far as addictions are concerned, common sense has no place. It is often a slow insidious process. And because it’s so subtle, it goes hand and hand with denial.

I sincerely believed I was a just a connoisseur of fine wines and liquors. You may love your retail therapy or late night fridge raids. And there is nothing wrong with any of these behaviors. Until they impact the quality of your life. Then, there is a problem

I knew my life was not going well, but I didn’t know why. Yes, I liked to drink, but so did my most of my friends and they seemed happy. So, I just ran faster, adding more things to the mix and hoping life would just get better on its own. Guess what? It didn’t. For me I had to hit the wall of lost jobs, bad relationships and failing health. Others have not been so “lucky.”

Since then, I’ve had to learn many lessons. The most important is to live in conscious awareness of how I am, deep down inside, each and every day. For by doing so, I can be more sensitive to when something is no longer adding to my quality of life. And I can stop.

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