Allowing Personal Growth
Posted on April 24, 2008
Filed Under Personal Growth |
OMG I didn’t think it would happen so soon into my blogging career but I’ve hit the wall. I can’t think of anything I want to write about today.
It could be because I read a fashion magazine before bed last night instead of my usual spiritually-filled fodder.
I could whine about what’s really on my mind. Like the fact that I tried on some outfits last night for an upcoming dinner and realized I can’t fit into any of them. At all!
No wonder women are hesitant about quitting smoking. It’s been four months now and while I don’t feel like smoking, I’m really enjoying eating, and it shows. This is not my idea of personal growth!
I quit smoking once about 5 years ago and of all the times I had tried to quit, that time in particular was so easy. I’m not sure why but I always thought it might be a gift from the gods.
Regardless, I recklessly started smoking again 2 ½ years later because of a stressful situation and, much more honestly, because of the weight I had put on. Looking good was more important than my health.
While I succeeded in losing the weight, I was upset with myself that I had started that nasty disgusting life threatening habit all over again. I mean, how can you save the planet if you can’t even save yourself? I felt so hypocritical. After that I swore that if I ever had another chance to quit again, I would not look the gift horse in the mouth this time. I got my second chance and I’ll keep it, thanks!
But back to the fashion magazines: I believe they are the bane of all women’s existence, or of mine, at the very least. On one hand, I love the fascinating styles, the vibrant colors, and most of all, the lifestyle it promises me. “Look like this and you’ll live happily ever after!” the model seems to say. Sometimes I’m not sure whether I’m looking at the styles or the model’s face; the shoes or the guy she’s hanging off of; her hair or the beautiful scenery behind her.
On the other hand, it’s like the bird in the gilded cage syndrome. To what end will we (I) go to, to look good? With anorexia and bulimia steadily on the rise, it seems for some of us, as far as it takes. And then there’s the number of women who can’t/won’t quit smoking for fear of weight gain. We won’t even discuss the legions of women flooding dermatologists’ offices to inject themselves with the magic elixirs available these days.
It’s been said before but it seems like these magazines promote dissatisfaction with our self image. They encourage that never ending battle to boost our self esteem. As I get older and more tired of that battle, I find it a lot more peaceful to look at what’s most important in my life. I have had times in my life where I have looked as good as I can get, barring surgery, and still have not been happy with my life. So for me, it’s not about looking good but feeling good with myself. And that comes from focusing on more important issues. I mean, it won’t matter how good I look, if the planet self-destructs tomorrow.
So, since I seem to be on a roll, perhaps those magazines should be something to get rid of. And the latest of my “personal growth!”
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