Perfecting Personal Growth

Posted on April 30, 2008
Filed Under Personal Growth |

The problem with my insane drive for perfection is that it may drive me perfectly insane! Aaacckk! You too? Well, read on.

Currently, I’m trying to put ads on my site in a way that’s aesthetically pleasing, and I’ve been working so hard on it that I’m getting a crick in my neck. Of course, if it wasn’t this, it would be something else. I’m a perfectionist, after all.

I started to think about why I was this way and looked around the net for answers. Adrienne Rich Hochman, LCSW, a therapist based in Miami, Florida, has some pretty interesting comments to make about perfection:

Why the need to be so perfect? Frequently, there are underlying fantasies that one will receive long desired approval or recognition. At other times, it is a means of maintaining a sense of control and order. Striving for perfection can be an attempt to stave off criticism and avoid reproach. Perfectionists are usually self-critical and demanding. Attention is given not to what is done well, but that which requires improvement. Perfectionists often cannot appreciate the positive aspects of themselves that others so readily admire. They tend to devalue accomplishments or appreciate them for only a limited time. Perfectionists find it very painful to make mistakes. Mistakes are exaggerated in their negative importance and expose the fear of inadequacy, incompetence and imperfection.

Yup! That sounds like me alright! She goes on to say that one way, among others, to break out of this behaviour is to, “identify and value one’s strengths.” Ha ha, I think to myself, I beat her to it! I’ve already started an ongoing list of accomplisments to review when I’m feeling particularly imperfect. 

Er ah, actually a friend of mine suggested I start the list when I began this blog. (Hmmm, does he know something I don’t?) So, I did. And it actually works!

Do you know that I’ve learned a heck of a lot over the last month or so? I’ve gone from not having a clue about blogging or web hosting or coding, to actually tinkering with the code inside the theme on my website? I am amazed!

Adrienne also tells us to see mistakes as part of the pavement of the road to success. Maybe I should start a list of my mistakes and the sucesses they led me to?  What would your list look like? 

 

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Comments

One Response to “Perfecting Personal Growth”

  1. Scramblejam on May 14th, 2008 8:06 am

    I think the obsession for perfection is one of the biggest problems that people in many modern societies have to face. It’s not just from within, but from other people.

    The whole “cult of celebrity” is about idolizing people who we see as perfect, and wanting to be more like them. This superficial level of perfection only values socially acceptable metrics like looks, wealth or material success.

    It’s easier to compare yourself negatively against some vision of perfection than it is to accept where you are and actually do something about it.

    Even if you fail!

    I really like the idea of mistakes (and their inherent lack of perfection) as paving the road ahead. I think also though that success is not the destination that the road leads to, but simply the process of following the road forward.

    Scramblejams last blog post..Upgrade Your Relationships

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