How to Break your Bad Habits
Posted on May 21, 2008
Filed Under Acceptance, Addiction |
Dave Navarro of Rock your Day, wrote a post about how he declares war on his bad habits in an effort to overcome them. It got me thinking about how we all do things differently according to what we believe. And what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. And how it’s all OK. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve had a few habits in my life that have kicked my butt all the way to next Sunday and back - a few times. I’ve worked for decades to break these bad habits and I kept running into a wall. Each time I would fall down, I would get right back up again and start over on my fight to quit. But it seemed like I could not get over, under nor around this wall. I learned that you cannot fight a wall. It is just there. Immovable.
Make Love not War
As Eckhart Tolle says, when we say no or fight a part of ourselves, we’re really coming from our ego, which does not have our best intentions at heart. He goes on to say that "The habitual and reactive ‘no’ strengthens the ego. ‘Yes’ weakens it. Your form identity, the ego, cannot survive surrender. Whatever you accept completely will take you to peace, including the acceptance that you cannot accept, that you are in resistance."
Believe me, I do not surrender easily. I had to run into that wall till I was beaten black and blue, and bloodied all over, metaphorically speaking of course. Oh but let me tell you about the blessed relief I felt when I surrendered. When I said, that’s it! I can not do this alone. I need help. I will do whatever it takes to stop but my way is not working anymore. My way is what got me here - nowhere with a nasty habit.
As a side note, your "bad" habit may not be as "bad" as mine or maybe it’s worse. It really doesn’t matter about the severity but more about how it impacts you and your life.
Shining that Everlovin’ Light
A bad habit represents a part of your dark side and if you quash one bad habit, another with pop up in it’s place. It’s not about the habit, it’s about that hidden, not so pleasant part of ourselves that we prefer to ignore. You do know what happens when you ignore something? As they say: what you resist, persists."
Debbie Ford tells us in her book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers," to identify these unlovable traits represented by the bad habit and then find the gift in it. As she says, the workaholic may need a touch of laziness to provide some balance. Or, it may signal that something needs to be healed.
"The process of making peace with our stories requires us to identify, understand, accept and embrace everything in our past that has caused us pain. In order for us to heal, we must stop chasing what Ford calls ‘the feel-good moments’ and embark on the extraordinary journey of loving and embracing all that we are."
Learning About Ourselves
Our bad habits are not there to torture us although sometimes it may feel like it. They are about learning. Learning about ourselves. Shine the light, accept that the dark side is a part of you and is there for a reason.
This habit may mask a deeper problems. You have to ask yourself why you indulge in this habit. Is it to block out unwanted feelings, recreate negative emotions from your past or to fill the void in your gut? Only you can figure these things out but until you do, I’ll guarantee you that you’ll always have a bad habit around to drive you crazy.
As Dave says, "So go do It. Now! Not half-assed, not half-hearted, not half-way." Full steam ahead, Captain!
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Thanks for the mention! You’re spot on - different strokes for different folks, right?
Dave Navarros last blog post..Interview with International Man of Mystery Lodewijk van den Broek
This is a very atute post. Looking within,surrender and acceptance of oneself on a core level are a challenge in the current cultural enviroment we find ourselves in America. Our life models portrayed in the media and adverts is basically dysfunctional and based on outer stimulation and gratification assuaged with ephemeral and material
things. Some of the greatest ‘role models’ of the culture are winners first,winner take all built on the back of the broken dreams of others….the type of winning needs to be redefined from the go for the gold winner takes all to the winning that involves everyone as a winner, born out of a spirit of cooperation.Until the dominant disintegrated model is replaced in an individual, chasing after ephemeral gratification at any cost…the pressure of these pursuits ,the desire to ‘have’ to ‘keep up with the Joneses’to ‘win’ at the expense of seeking inner peace will manifest in the self destructive ways.
eddies last blog post..Have You Driven A Ford Lately
Right, Dave! And, thanks for not kicking my butt!
Bang on Eddie. It already is.
Great post! Thanks, I needed to read this!
Jamies last blog post..Oh, by the way …
I’m glad I could help, Jamie.
Can’t resist asking if it’s the candy that’s giving you problems? LOL Sugar is seriously addicting!
The ability to find perfect balance in life is what we all strive to attain, though it eludes us all most of our lives.
If attained though - if only for mere moments in the grand scope of life - promises pure heaven!
Great post. Very informative and introspective. Loved it!
kimbathewhitelionesss last blog post..And so it begins…
Thank you!
Yes, it seems like just as soon as we achieve it, something distracts us and off we go again. Ongoing lessons.
What a transparent post… No, you can’t fight a wall. I believe its day by day and it’s a choice. Each day i choose to make good decisions. For me, it’s all about choices. Thanks for sharing.
VeRondas last blog post..The Remote… and Everything Else
Very good post,though i have no bad habits but this post will help me ideas to people who have bad habit!!!
Rockstar Sids last blog post..Six Wordpress Smiley plugins for comment and blog post
Thank you VeRonda. Keep on making those good decisions!
Wow! You are so fortunate to have no bad habits. Glad I could be of help regardless!