How You can Call it Curtains on Drama

Posted on June 2, 2008
Filed Under Awareness, Balance |

In part 3 of the series How to Get the Alcoholic Advantage, we look at drama and how it can have you acting off balance.

The Opening Act

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead as I listened to him drone on. Would he ever stop? My stomach was starting to knot up at the intensity of his ranting. The subject? Nothing of importance or at least from what I could understand. Just the usual stuff that he chose to blow out of proportion. My friend fancied himself a classic story teller. I saw him as a classic drama king and soon severed the friendship.

Have you ever been around someone who went on endlessly, making mountains out of molehills? Or watched someone over react, becoming too emotional about something that didn’t warrant it? Or listened to someone else tear another’s reputation to shreds?

These are all forms of drama and at it’s very core, is done to ease emotional pain. This, by definition, is an addiction. If there is a void to fill, let’s pump up the rush of adrenaline. If life isn’t working to our satisfaction, let’s get right in the center of a drama to distract ourselves. If we feel bad about ourselves, let’s focus on someone else’s faults. These are all reactions to avoid feeling, and therefore dealing with, the issues life has dealt us.

A Strange Scene or Two

A strange but surprisingly common example of drama is being late. I know it isn’t the first thing that you think of but it’s true.

I once knew a woman who claimed that she was often late on purpose. She said she loved the adrenaline rush it gave her. She would start multi tasking like mad until it became a game to see if she could get it all done and still slid in under the wire in time.

This is very similar to those who practice extreme sports. The only way these people can really feel alive is to do something death defying.

My Scene

I used to live in drama constantly. Many were the time where I would go on and on about someone, and how they had done me wrong. As I got warmed up to the subject, my voice would get higher and I would start to talk faster. I would get more animated and my body would practically be dancing. I would feel alive and excited. How sad.

These days, I just can’t afford to act that way anymore. It doesn’t feel good, physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. As I said previously, when I’m in the middle of drama, my stomach starts to knot, my head starts to ache and my heart races uncontrollably. I start to feel irritable, angry and guilty. To cause that much damage to ourselves and others just isn’t right.

The End

Now when I feel myself getting caught up in some drama, of my own or of someone else’s making, I have discovered solutions. As balance is key in life, let’s try to do the following:

Get help to develop strong boundaries so we understand what our issues are and what belongs to others.
Learn to become a better communicator to keep interactions clear.
Tune into our body and feel how it’s reacting. Honor the information.
If someone else is dramatizing our life, state the truth and walk away. Don’t engage.
If you mess up and get dramatic, take responsibility and make things right, ASAP.
Understand what we’re avoiding and deal with it. Simple but not easy.
Learn what the pay off is and why we want it.
Stop and think. Use good judgement and have compassion for other’s issues
Don’t gossip. If you hear someone starting to talk about someone else, repress the urge and run, don’t walk, to your nearest exit.

Photo credit: Bollywood se on Flickr.

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Comments

7 Responses to “How You can Call it Curtains on Drama”

eddie on June 2nd, 2008 9:05 pm

excellent advice!

eddies last blog post..Sea and Land
heidi on June 2nd, 2008 10:09 pm

I am with you on the no more drama. I have a friend that thrives on drama. I lover her but not her drama. I guess the drama comes with her-I don’t think she would know what to do without it. Another great post.

heidis last blog post..Do You know Where Your Love Handles Come From? You May Be Surprised
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net on June 2nd, 2008 10:53 pm

Thank you so much for the link!
Albert | UrbanMonk.Nets last blog post..Separating the Spiritual Wheat from the Chaff
admin on June 3rd, 2008 9:04 am

Glad you like it, Eddie.
admin on June 3rd, 2008 9:09 am

Thanks Heidi.
I find I have to take those people in very small doses.
I also hope my non-reaction to their drama helps them realize it’s just not as exciting as they think and they learn to tone it down.
admin on June 3rd, 2008 9:11 am

It’s my pleasure to be able to link to such an interesting site as yours, Albert. Thanks for being there.
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